Being Contracted Is Suffering
by Theralion
Summary: Koyemshi and Kyubey discuss the finer points of tricking kids into signing away their lives, as well as what happens when things don't go as planned.


**Being Contracted Is Suffering**

**Note**: This story involves the anime continuity version of Koyemshi.

* * *

As Koyemshi slowly regained consciousness, he took note of his surroundings. He saw that he was once again in Zearth's cockpit, or of a similar robot, but none of the familiar chairs were inside. After a moment, he realized he was still inside his floating robotic body, rather than his human form. But then his attention came to the small white fox-like creature in the cockpit with him.

"Oh, so you're finally here, Koyemshi" it said.

"What the hell are you supposed to be, and how do you know my name?" Koyemshi said impatiently.

"My name is Kyubey, short for Incubator," Kyubey said. "I was informed about you, as one who's also in the business of recruiting children to fight for their world."

"That's mostly right," Koyemshi said. It was typically not his policy to disclose information unless the listener was already aware of it, and it appeared as though Kyubey knew almost all there was to know about him. "I tend to get some assistants to do it, but it's essentially the pilots signing up to give their lives to protect their universe while blowing up the universes of other poor bastards like them who signed the contract. They fight in special robots that we provide to them, against other robots of the same kind- none of those apes' technology can do a damn thing against the robots, so it's essentially up to the pilots and their machines."

"A contract, is it?" Kyubey said. "I also offer contracts, in which I grant a single wish in exchange for young girls becoming Magical Girls and fighting the evil beings known as witches until they die in battle or become a witch."

"So it's a career for them?" Koyemshi said. "The contract indicates that you die within 48 hours of the battle starting from the robot draining your life force, and your actions only determine whether your own universe goes along for the ride. Well, there's this one guy called Kirie- the little prick lucked out by his opponent committing suicide in the first battle before he even moved Zearth. He wasn't quite so lucky the second time, although he did manage to win before he croaked."

"If magical girls fight well, they can extend their lives by collecting the Grief Seeds of the witches they kill," Kyubey said. "But it's only a matter of time, whether they corrupt their Soul Gems- the vessel housing their soul the way their bodies used to- through using up their magic, they fall at the hands of a witch, or they fall to despair due to their wishes not granting them what they wanted, and being left with nothing but a life of constant fighting as a result."

"This wish thing sounds oddly attractive, especially considering you're actually offering an incentive to join, but it seems like a raw deal nonetheless," Koyemshi said. "Only a friggin' retard would take what amounts to throwing away their own lives- the same kind of friggin' retards who get tricked into signing the contract to pilot and fight in robots."

"I wouldn't call those girls stupid," Kyubey said. "Throughout history, many great figures have left their mark on humanity with the aid of my wishes, and their sacrifice enables the universe to survive entropy. From what you told me, it sounds as though the same can be said for your pilots."

"But I don't suppose they know any of that 'saving the world' crap when they get into it, right?" Koyemshi said. "I know that Kokopelli asshole, one of my little helpers, neglected to mention even that the kids would die when they pilot it, much less the part about other worlds."

"From my experience, I imagine your pilots took the news quite hard," Kyubey said. "Some magical girls fell into despair, sometimes leading directly to their own deaths, when faced with the truth about what they were, or what they would become."

"Getting all sentimental on me, dickhead?" Koyemshi said, irritated at Kyubey's remark. "And wipe that friggin' smile off your face!"

"In my species, emotion is seen as a mental disorder, and we have difficulty comprehending the thought processes of humans and other beings," Kyubey said. "This expression is one that I tend to assume while dealing with others, rather than an indicator of my mental state. I've had my suspicions for some time, though- as you've shown emotions ranging from anger to sadistic glee at your pilots' plight. You used to be human, didn't you?"

"I…" Koyemshi said, caught off guard.

"That's about right," a female voice came from behind Koyemshi. "The one you know as Koyemshi- my older brother- was once human before his consciousness was transplanted into that body." Koyemshi turned around and saw his younger sister, Machi Youko.

"Youko!" Koyemshi said irritatedly.

"Interesting…" Kyubey said. "Do tell me more about how this happened, Youko."

"My brother told you about the contracts, right?" Youko said. Kyubey nodded. "The short version is that my brother and some others were contracted to fight for our Earth. We won each battle, and when my brother's turn came at the end, he made a deal- he would live on and recruit pilots on other Earths with me. Our Koyemshi, however, neglected to mention that my brother would be doing so in that form."

"Hey! Don't tell him that!" Koyemshi said indignantly, embarrassed at having his cowardice and gullibility recounted.

"We traveled across many earths, and soon came to another, in which we, with the help of a man known as Kokopelli, recruited a class of young children into the game. One by one, they fought and died. Near the end, we were short a member, and my brother decided to forcibly recruit Ushiro Kana-chan, younger sister of Ushiro Jun, into the game. But I decided that even if I couldn't make up for what I had done in the past, I could at least save one last innocent victim from being dragged into the game."

"And so the little bitch shot me full of holes," Koyemshi said. "I died there, so I'm not sure how I wound up here."

"Perhaps the same way I did," Youko said. "After killing you, I joined the contract, won the penultimate battle and passed away. Everything's in Ushiro's hands now."

"Even in that body, you die like ordinary humans?" Kyubey said, intrigued. "For the magical girls, their Soul Gem helps them to withstand pain in their physical body, which is only a puppet that moves and fights according to their commands. And if you destroy this body, I can reappear in another."

"You and those magical girls really do have it made, huh?" Koyemshi said with a hint of envy in his voice.

"Finally someone who realizes the benefit this system has," Kyubey said. "Although you had to die to appreciate the benefit of having a body that can break down without affecting you."

"Well, anything's better than being trapped inside this piece of junk," Koyemshi said. "But I have to wonder- why doesn't some girl get it into her head to wish this system away? If one of them got that idea, you'd be screwed."

"Interesting that you'd say that," Kyubey said. "There is a limit to how much a wish can accomplish, based on the wisher's potential as a magical girl. And the greater the wish, the more potential a magical girl has, the deadlier the witch they will become will be. There was one girl, Kaname Madoka, who had nearly limitless potential, as a result of another Magical Girl, Akemi Homura, constantly rewinding time again and again for her sake."

"Really?" Kyubey said. "Akemi gave rise to many parallel universes? That sort of crap is the problem the robot battles I'm involved in are meant to deal with."

"Madoka put an end to all that and made permanent changes to the magical girls' battles with her wish. She wished for every witch, in the past, in the present and in the future, even her own, to be erased before being created. As a result, the universe was restructured, without her in it." Kyubey paused a moment, wondering why it could remember such a thing.

"So you're not the only one to get screwed over by a 12 year old girl," Koyemshi said.

"I suppose the moral of the story is that if you try to set up a con game, you should consider it a challenge of wits between yourself and the mark," Kyubey said. "And with all games, there's always someone out there who's better at it than you."

"That's easy for you to say when you didn't get turned into Swiss cheese by a semi-automatic pistol," Koyemshi said.

"I did, once, actually," Kyubey said. "Or should I say, if I only count the last timeline."

"Serves you right for granting Akemi's wish," Koyemshi said, his usual smugness returning to his voice. "But I suppose that you couldn't say no to Kaname, either."

"That's correct," Kyubey said, "although I did try to get her to make a wish earlier than that. Likewise, I suppose you couldn't turn anyone away who wanted to contract, like Youko or the others, or compel anyone to contract, like Kana."

"I have to fill those chairs somehow, although it's not a good idea to have too many people, either," Koyemshi said. "And I suppose you need recruits for your heat generating magical girl thing. You would think that with their days numbered and nothing left to do but to fight until they die, they'd act according to our plans, but you can never tell how some people react."

"Many of those people are acting for the sake of others," Kyubey said. "Some who make seemingly selfless wishes have a selfish ulterior motive, but Madoka's wish, fueled by Homura's willingness to endure almost endless suffering to protect her, and intended for the good of everyone but herself, changed the universe."

"It's not like we don't have experience," Koyemshi said. "Youko and I went across many different universes, and it was the same each time. But I didn't know people as well as I thought- not even her, it turns out. And, as you noticed, I don't have an excuse, seeing as how I used to be human, instead of always being that sort of… fox thing you are." Koyemshi paused thoughtfully for a moment. "But there is one thing I wish I had."

"I'm all ears," Kyubey said. "But keep in mind that you can't 'wish' for it, per se."

"Bulletproof coating on this robot body," Koyemshi said. "Maybe in that case, Youko would have been the one looking like a moron as her plan failed. Maybe that time, those apes wouldn't have taken down a piece of technology beyond their comprehension with a primitive piece of crap like that pistol. I still can't understand how things went down like they did."

"Maybe that's the problem," Kyubey said. "As much as we see the humans we make contracts with as ignorant of what they're getting into, perhaps we don't quite understand as much of what goes on in their minds as we think. In such a scenario, we can't even imagine being outwitted, much less do anything to prevent it. And that, more than anything else, is our fatal flaw and the reason why our carefully laid and seemingly flawless plans did not turn out as we expected."

"Yeah, doesn't that just piss you off?" Koyemshi said.

"It might, if I had emotions," Kyubey said.

"Oh, right," Koyemshi said.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Thank you for reading this story. It was inspired by the similarities between Koyemshi and Kyubey, as well as their striking differences (Koyemshi is rather ill-tempered and condescending, whereas Kyubey is emotionless and detached from humanity. Koyemshi also swears quite a bit, unlike Kyubey, which I decided to reflect here).

In this story, imagine that Koyemshi and Youko came to this place after being killed, and Kyubey retains his memories of the previous timelines, similar to how Madoka, shortly before becoming hope itself, learns about everything that happened in the other timelines, including everything Homura did to protect her.

Interestingly enough, in the manga, Koyemshi later describes contracting with Zearth as a way of giving your life to gain the power to protect those close to you. He never tries to describe it that way in the anime, in which he's more evil than his manga counterpart. Despite that difference, I chose anime!Kyubey because of the part where he gets, as he put it, "screwed over by a 12 year old girl", and his more sadistic personality.

I'm aware of the Unfortunate Implications in the argument that famous women were magical girls, but Kyubey uses this sort of argument to defend the system, by saying that because of magical girls, Madoka can live as she does today.

* * *

**Omake**

"Waku-kun, correct?" Tomoe Mami said to Waku Takeshi. "I have a question."

"Sure, go ahead," Waku said.

"How far into your own series did you make it?"

"I died at the end of the second episode out of 24," Waku said with amused chagrin. "And it looked like I was set up to be the main character, too."

"You never were resurrected?" Waku shook his head. "Appeared in a flashback? Came back in an alternate timeline?" He shook his head twice more. "I see… then I will never again complain about being killed off in the third episode out of 12."

"You know, I was also said to be the hero of my series, and look how things turned out for me," Miki Sayaka said.

"Miki-san, perhaps those in works by Urobuchi Gen-san are not as fortunate as others," Mami said.

"As my dad said, being in genre deconstructions is suffering," Ano Maki said.


End file.
